Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Oh My Bob!

During the 6th grade performance, the eighth graders were stuck in the chorus room listening to their iPods and texting on their cell phones. Meanwhile me and my friend were running around, saying "Phail!" to the people we don't like. Like my former friend wearing gobs of make up and a skirt shorter than mine; to the dork going around and picking fights while wearing a zip-up tie; and to our friend who's a guy because he just plain phails. Later, my friend starts drawing burning crosses (she's agnostic) and this short girl (and I mean really short, who's very mean and acts like she's ten feet tall) comes up and asks, "Do you even know what that means? Are you in the KKK?" and we're like "Nooo." We explain that I'm atheist and that she's agnostic, and that we really don't care. More girls come up and watch us. "Do you know that you go to hell if you don't get baptized?" "How do you know, have you died?" "I know because it says so in the bible?" "Who said the bible was real?" Then this girl, who's a daughter of a preacher or related to one or something, starts going off on us. "I don't know what kind of sh*t you're parents have been teaching you, but God is real..." and she just goes on like that, until one of her friends drag her away while she was still yelling. My friend says to me, "I've only been to church once, and that was to get baptized. My parents said if I've ever wanted to go I could just ask." I told her that when I was christian, I was super christian, and that I went to church all the time. My former friend turned around and smiled. I poked her and said, "Yeah, I went to her church. Her church was weird. They were talking about how we don't come from monkeys or something." Well back then when I was nine it made sense. People related to monkeys? Insane! But now I know better. I turnerd to my friend and said "I will convert you."

4 comments:

Hallie Jo said...

we learned abouit atheism in history class yesterday lol.
you should tell them you are part of the church of the flying spaghetti monster.

Ysa said...

Yeah, but then you would have to move to Kansas. Oh wait... doesn't yur facebook still say you live in Witchatah? (ogasp, I think I spelled that wrong.)

Lynnis said...

I know what I am getting you for spaghettimas now, it is perfect to irritate your sheep like comrades! We were all really worried about you when you were hanging with the "bad crowd" fundamentalists a few years back.

Haven said...

Hallie, if I did that I think they would beat me up! And Lynnis, the "bad crowd"? In social studies, our teacher gave us this list of punishments, and we had to write what amendment in the bill of rights it was breaking. One of them was sentencing a guy to go to church every sunday. I wrote that down as a cruel and unusual punishment.