Oh...

Before I wanted to turn 13. 12 just seemed so young, so naive. Now I feel, well, blah. Last night my mom asked, "Are you ready to turn 13." And, without hesitation, I answered, "No, do I have to be?" I suddenly realised that teenager-dom didn't seem so great. Oh well, too late. Though I did get some sushi :D

Math Meets Art

I haven't posted in a while beacues of stupid brain-block, but when mom made me watch Nova last night, I had an idea on what to post.

Contemplate and observe:

Beaded Chains

Last night I took a shower and scrubbed all my tatoos off. When I got into my bed, I was so tired. I bought ankelets at a summer camp, and I haven't took them off since. I even took showers in them. Last night they felt so heavy, so cold, so wet. I immediately started to untie them, but I couldn't since they were so wet. I searched around for something sharp, and took a pin from a button and started hacking away at them with surprised frustration. I accidently pricked myself, but I only stopped a second to see if it was bleeding. With the last of my patience, I pulled both of them off and put them on my dresser. I was tired of the beads falling off, I was tired of hiding them beneath my socks in gym, I was tired of them soaking in water. I was just tired!

Poetry Club

Today was the first meeting of the poetry club at my school. Fortunately it consisted of a little group of friends I had, unfortunatly I'm not very close to them. I mean, I think they are too cool, and one of them is my best friend, but with the otehrs I'm just too guarded and self-conscious. My last best friend decided to be emo/girly, and I knew my current best friend last year, but I want more best friends but I'm just too...scared. What if they all turn emo/girly, choose to ignore me, and only pretend to be my best friend if their other friends aren't around? So I forgot that I had to bring some poetry, so I hastily grab a small poem I wrote that I kept stored in locker about my little problem with my friends. So I sit down and wonder if I have any other poems in my backpack, and it turns out I have almost all my songs in there. Ms. Turner asked if I wanted to share, and I was kinda like "No, maybe...later..." Everyone starts talking about poetry, and everyone says they hate rhyming poems, which made me want to evaporate. I can't help but rhyme poems. There's something in my head that wants me to rhyme. I've never seen it as anything less than a gift, but now it just seems like a curse. So then it was creativity time, and it was silent for a few minutes, then we got to talking about random stuff, mostly about dreams. One girl explains a dream that had to do with balconies, and afterwards I stated that "that is why I'm afraid of balconies." Let me tell you, it's annoying how much my friends don't care for the balconies in my school, while I'm gripping the opposite wall hoping one of them doesn't "accidently" bump me. Randomly, my best friend grabs my poem and runs. Normally I wouldn't have bothered, but she was about to read it out loud. It's not actually a bad poem, but it's about a dodo bird, which might make the others not take it so seriously. So we're having a wrestling match, and I guess I was winning, but I still couldn't get the paper back since I folded it up so dang small. I only got it back after the teacher intervened (finally). Finally the day was over. Before they left, they told Ms. Turner that they can't get offended easily. Lucky them. I get offended so easily, and I care what other people think. They have no idea how long I spend in front of the mirror, trying to find the perfect outfit that made me look like I didn't give a damn while still looking good.

Hallie's Anti-Writer's Block List

Since I'm having writer's block again, so Hallie nicely made me a list of topics.
The election:
*Sigh* All I can say is I hope McCain doesn't win.
Science projects:
It's annoying. My observations and data are due Nov. 3-14, which means I'll have to get to an art museum sometime soon.
Art projects:
What art projects?
Halloween:
I'm between being a park ranger and an emo. Andelle says she'll walk with my, but she wants to power walk and go all the way down the hill. Maybe my friend will offer me to trick-or-treat in her neighborhood
Your upcoming birthday:
What can I say about it? It's in 10 days.
Your tshirt hacking:
Umm...*cough* About that...
The definition of "geek":
What was Hallie thinking? Geeks for me are people who are really academically smart that flaunt it and are usually strong in maths and sciences.
The definition of "hippie":
*shakes fist at Hallie* A person in the arts who loves nature, are not afraid to be themselves, and are generally all around awesome.
A book you are currently reading:
The Other Boleyn Girl...again.
A movie you saw recently:
The last movie I saw was a stupid Goosebumps movie on Disney channel, "Night of the Living Dummies, Part III", which made Andelle go hysterical about how crappy it was and how they could possibly have been two others. She screamed while watching it though, which was pretty funny.

INNERNETS!!!

So incase anybody hasn't noticed, I haven't been on lately because my dad turned off my internets. I know I shouldn't be obsessing over it, but they want me to make a Fibonacci gauge, but I need to print one out of the internet. Thankfully Ysa has been feeding my pwnehs, and Andelle has been supplying me with my daily dose of useless YouTube videos. Now, for my entertainment, a video.

Camp

Once again I have nothing important to post, so I'll write about my weekend. I went camping with my girl scout troop, but only seven girls went, including myself, so that was a big plus since when everybody comes it's a big disaster. We slept in two seperate trailers. I got the trailer with the awesome leader and my friends, while the other loud girls got the annoying leader (I think she's annoying because she complains about everything little thing!). We got to go to a dance in our pajamas, which was fun. I bough glasses that had lights on it, so whenever a song came on that I didn't know, I put on the glasses and bobbed my head. My friends even made me do the soulja boy, but it was all good. I was having a good time, though some boys got a little weird and started dancing around. They lifted each other up and danced all stupid like. One danced too close to me, so I sat with my leaders. They said that they liked boys like that, boys who didn't care what anybody else thought. My opinion is there's a thin line between not caring what anybody else thought and just being plain ignorant. Though one of my leaders did tell me that what they noticed is that I have fun whatever I do, which was nice to hear. In the final song we got into a "love circle" where we all held hands and swayed back and forth. We also went to Assateague and saw some wild ponies, which was awesome. And now I know another thing I can be for holloween...a park ranger! I have a junior park ranger badge, and I can use my mom's old name tag and belt from when she was a park ranger.

Song

I haven't written a song in forever, so I feel like now would be a good time to start again.

You're out to steal the world
That took me too long to make
The things you've said and done
No longer in your wake

Shared expressions paint the wall
Opinions shared out loud
Why be the broken nail
When you get lost in the crowd

[Chorus]
Let’s save the world today
Let’s go a different way
Let’s start a new tomorrow
Let’s end all the sorrow
Let’s stop before it really begins
Let’s let the best side win

Old baptismal gown
Torn, bloody, and cold
Your mind wreaks havoc
When painted with fool’s gold

Delirious and cheery
Like vultures on their prey
Forget what you’ve forgotten
Never let the rest fade away

[Chorus]

What have I begun?
I have a lot to learn
But in the meanwhile
I’ll let the fires burn

Stepping from the ashes
A phoenix reborn
Why did I have to change
To this nature of forlorn

[Chorus]

I’ll save the world today
I’ll go a different way
I’ll start a new tomorrow
I’ll end all the sorrow
I’ll stop before it really begins
I’ll let the good side win

Today

I have no clue what to write, so I'll just write my day. This morning I stole Andelle's MP3 player (she left it in the bathroom!) and was listening to "The Speed of Sound" by Coldplay when I realized that a certain lyric was too familiar:

Every chance you get is a chance you seize

It was then when I remembered where I wrote that poem that I wrote in another post. I was at a hotel and snuck into the bathroom with Andelle's MP3 player over the summer, where I layed in the bathtub weilding a pen, trying to get my creative juices flowing. I now feel a bit like a failure.
These two girls on the bus were trying (unsuccesfully) to convert me, which they seem to do when they are bored, or when they remember that they're christian and that they have a heathen in their midsts.
In science the girl behind me is either trying to convert me, hook me up with a guy, style my hair, or stealing my purse. To day it was trying to style me and steal my purse. My friend A decided to take my one of my necklace's I left in my purse and promised to give it back in PE. For some reason, all my friends like my necklaces.
In French my friend B's purse was making noises, but she was all the way across the room with a teacher, so I was frantically searching for the sound.
In PE A gave back my necklace, and my friend C wanted to come over to my house in Wednesday, which is something to look forward to.
I was looking everywhere for C's number, so I decide to call friend D to see if she had her number, and she did. I told her that C was going to come over on Wednesday, which is why I needed her number. D made a sound full of question and envy which is funny because it sounded like an "mmm" sound, but it was quick and...strange. D jealous?
Now I'm at home, Andelle seems to be out to kill me for some reason, and I'm starting to hate the phone.

Funness!

On Sunday I'm going to the Renn. Fest with my two best friends, so this should be interesting. It's the first time one of my friends have been there, so me and my other friend will introduce her to the world of pirates and gypies!

Sores

Some habits never die. I had an annoying habit in elementary where I would bite the inside of my mouth, causing sores. Sometimes I would be biting and not even realizing it. Sometimes I would wake up in the morning and my lip would be swollen. Once again the stupid habit decided to revisit me. Now I'm eating strawberry sorbet thinking it might help, but I accidently bit down on it, and it HURTS! RARRRRGHH!!!